Stan the Man and young Rachel at her home office circa 1980

Oh how I hated that overused yet true-every-time phrase. If I had let it sink in that boredom really is a choice, I could have avoided the many thousand repetitions that landed on my childhood ears. Despite the obvious wisdom, I didn’t stop complaining about being bored until I was dealing with the adventures and stresses of life on my own. Now I have a kid who’s taken up the torch. And somehow, I’ve let boredom creep back into my life.

It’s not like I’m short on things to do – important things. Things I need and want to do. So many of them are exact repeats of what I’ve done the day before, what I’ll do tomorrow, or even in an hour. I often find comfort in daily rituals, but lately I’ve experienced a troublesome level of ennui in them.

I did some extensive researched (45 seconds worth) and found this interesting article about boredom, some points:

– People need to have a reasonable level of psychological energy or arousal to feel bored. When people have low arousal and there is not much happening, they often feel relaxed.

– Boredom typically occurs when people have trouble focusing their attention and they believe the reason for this difficulty is in the environment.

– Bored people become aware of their difficulty concentrating.

Well OK. I’m not using my energy wisely. I’m blaming the confines of family life (which I absolutely cherish and am grateful for) as an excuse to not do things that bring me joy.  No one at home is requiring my full attention anymore, I can stop wandering around waiting to be needed. I’ve been so mentally complain-y about my boredom that it’s blocked my view.

I’ve got projects upon projects that should be finished by now – ideas for stories percolating – a room full of art supplies, and a designated space ready and full of sunlight. WHY THE HELL AM I PROCRASTINATING?

I’ve got to tame my social media trigger finger. Too much ingested sludge. Seeing what others create is not the same as creating. There are funny, beautiful bits on social media, but there are funnier, more beautiful bits in my house. (Man + boy + dogs + cat + chickens = hilarious!)

And the news, Lawd have mercy, the news. Unless I’m making it, enough. A little KOOP instead? None of the hits all of the time – perfect! Or equally as wonderful – silence.

I’ve re-engaged with my meditation practice, too, and it’s doing wonders for my ability to concentrate. A dear life-line friend introduced me to the magical voice of David Ji via SoundCloud and it works to calm the brains.

After a whopping three days on a media cleanse and great relief is settling in. I’ve doodled, written, exercised, and stared at walls without malaise.  I’ve moved into the sweet spot of flow while working. Evenings spent playing games with my two dudes is fun again.

So, thanks Dad, for reminding me over and over that I am in control of myself. That I can choose daily to be bored or engaged. That consistency is powerful. He has been my best example of how sheer will and hard work are the building blocks of the life you want.

I will end with another famous Stanism  –

“Let’s rock and roll sports fans!”