Artist by Nature, Books by Design

Journals

“We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me.” – Phyllis Theroux

By Rachel on April 26, 2017

Eye watering Japanese silk and paper journal from Kozo Arts (sadly now gone).

It doesn’t take much to turn my head when it comes to beautiful paper. The day I found myself drooling over hand made journals I truly didn’t need was the day I decided my grandparents definitely DID need them. Who wouldn’t want to fill a journal for their earnest granddaughter in their spare time?

I chose a handsome but simple leather journal for my grandpa and this lovely Kozo Arts journal for my grandmother. I found them last summer after the passing of my grandmother. Turns out they weren’t the journaling type. My grandpa didn’t write a word, and my grandmother made one entry. But it’s lovely and her loops of ink warm me up.

If you have ever been called ‘My Dearest Wonderful’ by your grandmother, then you know what it is to experience the sweetest feelings of love. I had the great fortune of enjoying many years of bonafide friendship with my grandmother. She spoke lovingly about her grandmother, and she infused her with a sense of self worth while growing up.

Before I knew my grandparents wouldn’t be filling books for me, I dedicated my first hand made journal to grandma as well. I was so thrilled to have actually made something both useful and beautiful, I had to give it to someone who would make it more precious.

The idea behind this journal was more of an exchange. I would write in it, send it to her and she would write back. The exchange only went one way though. I wrote several entries, mailed it, then picked it up on my next visit. I only did that a couple times before my new little family eventually became neighbors with she and grandpa. No need for journals when I could come over for coffee instead.

I’m finally at an age where I look forward to being a grandmother one day. I hope I can fill the petite but mighty shoes that came before me, offering guidance, humor, wisdom, friendship.

I think I’ll do one thing differently though. If asked to share my inner workings I’ll write and write and write.

Rumi

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” – Rumi

By Rachel on April 19, 2017

You know when you have important, difficult, unavoidable tasks to do, suddenly doing the laundry feels urgent – inspiring even? Yeah. I’m quitting that habit. Big life time goal for 2017.

Instead, this week, when I had important, difficult, unavoidable tasks to do, I decided making notebooks was what was missing from my life. And what better reason than… uuuuu… oh! My second cousin’s 6th birthday!

To be fair to myself (another life goal, being fair to myself dammit) I wasn’t procrastinating so much as adding more to my agenda for the week. I did in fact get my important, very effing difficult, unavoidable work done and then felt giddy making this lil bookie poo while half watching a movie. It was blissful really.

I recently set an intention to give my hands more meaningful work to do. Not that food, driving, computer, laundry, cleaning, shopping, laundry, driving and personal hygiene aren’t meaningful work. Nothing is more meaningful than a good tooth brushing. But maybe more – fun work.

Part of what made this project fun is that I didn’t do all of it at the same time or at the last minute. I did it a little at a time over several days. I let myself enjoy the process of making decisions, considering size and shape options, digging for other fun bits, admiring it on my floor and allowing it to take shape.

Keeping my hands busy kept old mental habits at bay which was refreshing. Holding the resulting gift was gratifying. And, I finished it on time – mini goal accomplished! Little gust of wind in my sails!

Maybe I’ll make a couple more. No hurry though.

I bought this sweet stationary at my favorite (now defunct) whatsit store in New York, Pearl River. So many years of finding treasures there!

One side is printed with a partial floral design, the other side, the rest of the design. When you hold it to the light it makes a complete color image.

Oh the joy of half watching Harry Potter while you poke holes through dense, fiber matter and then stitch it together.

Super simple 3- hold stitch binding. The cover is a craft card stock of some sort from the depths of my supply closet. Cut 3 covers per one 8.5 x 11″ sheet.

Added a couple slices of sticker sheets from the scrap drawer and added my name on back. Book final size is about 3″x3″

Thanks Busy Hands! You’re awesome!

Grandmothers

“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.” – Diane Mariechild

By Rachel on April 12, 2017

Behind me, on a shelf above my head, sit two worn, wooden frames containing images of beautiful young women. Both would one day become my grandmother.

I have had the great fortune of knowing grandparents, great grandparents, and even great great grandparents in my life. Each informing who I am to some degree. Each offering me clues about what I’m capable of. They are the people who created my family and who formed me within my family.

There is one I could not know, however, and she too has formed me.

My maternal grandmother, Vavo Lionelha, died when her oldest child was 15 years and her youngest was 8 months. Her legacy has been fraught with sorrow, but also unwavering faith and diligence.

As her children were left with an ever expanding void, the way each filled that void became their own journey. Through those efforts, her grandchildren were blessed with unquantifiable gifts. I’ve always felt that way about my brother and cousins. There is something rich in our blood and we are fortified by our shared experiences through her.

It is precisely due to Vavo Lionelha’s absence that an interest in family took such a hold of me. I cannot calculate the number of hours I have spent listening to my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents tell and re-tell stories of their lives. I have been mining the wisest of them for intel since I was old enough to realize I knew nothing of great value.

And why, partially, I became very close to my paternal grandmother, Grandma Esther. We shared a friendship beginning when I went to college and lasting for my entire adult life.

When finally she couldn’t say my name, I spent our time locked into her milky grey stare, telling her every wonderful thing she did for me, gave me, or said to me. I told her over and over how much I learned about being a friend, mother, and daughter from her. She didn’t recognize many people in her last year of life, but she knew me. Her face lit up the moment our eyes met and my heart lit up too.

Both of my grandmothers have been a strong voice in my internal narrative. Their mysteries and familiarities mine to access for life.

I’ve had those framed pictures up for decades giving me comfort, strength, and a little day dreaminess.

With the glow of their very promising lives shining on their faces, they are fearless and hopeful.

They look the way I feel sometimes.

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Birthday Gift

“You don’t give up, do you?” – Red Skull, Captain America

By Rachel on April 5, 2017

I’ve said yes! and Yes!! and YES!!! to so many projects I have a back log decades long. No joke. Sketches and mock ups, partial layouts and plans that only exist in my mind’s eye.

I’ve slowly started moving through them – finally. The feeling of being overwhelmed subsiding ever so little, but only if I focus on what is right in front of me.

If I think for even a moment of the many promises waiting to be fulfilled on the shelf behind me, the flow shuts down and I run off and start a load of laundry or a deep clean of the bathrooms.

I’ve had a creative mentor and business accountability partner for almost a year now and she has profoundly influenced my ability to focus, prioritize, accept, and move through the b.s. I put in my own way. And, there’s nothing like a deadline, self imposed or someone else’s, to clear the plate. Like say, your kid’s best buddy’s birthday.

Last year, a dear friend’s son found out he had diabetes, landing him in the hospital for a short time and putting his family in a whole new relationship with carbs. Shortly afterward, he tested positive for Celiac disease. Double crap (gluten free) sandwich.

His class made creative and hilarious cards and after a going through, my friend handed them to me to ‘do something with.’ My mind was a whirl. I scanned and cleaned them up right away then sat on ideas for an entire year.

I count her as one of my favorite people because there are no feelings of unmet expectations with her – which also accounts for why she is such a marvelously relaxed mother of three. I didn’t feel guilt around her, but there were many times I wanted to mention, lie really, that I would have those cards back to her any day now.

When she opted to celebrate a full year of her son successfully managing two huge lifestyle changes with an over night at a dude ranch, I found my deadline. The form took shape quickly (a poster!), the work was quick (scanning and cleaning done months ago!), and the flow took over. I had the 36″ x 24″ poster printed at Miller Imaging and Digital Solutions in half a day and delivered the gift on time.

If you’ve seen Captain America, the First Avenger, you know who Red Skull is, but you may have missed how ridiculous he sounds as he threatens the Captain saying, ‘You don’t give up, do you?!’ Or maybe you just need 10 year olds to reenact it over and over and over until you can’t help but chuckle every time you hear it. That phrase became a comical mantra after we all watched the movie together last summer.

Seems appropriate for a kid who proved he was stronger and more adaptable than he knew. And for anyone with the chutzpah to keep at life, art, love, work, adventure, even when the tasks at hand are daunting. All we really need is a good friend, a mentor, and our sights set directly in front of us.