Poetry

“The journey is the destination” – Dan Eldon

By on January 18, 2018
Photo credit unknown, taken for a portrait at Westminster Manor, Austin

It is finished! Or… has it just begun?

You remember my nonconformist poet friend? Well, we finished his book just in time for another run at the Westminster Manor Christmas Bazaar. It is by far my favorite project to date. My ever helpful husband not only person-ed my table with me, he also traveled up to Cedar Park that morning to pick up my order from the printer. The ink was barely dry when he delivered 50 beautiful books!

What a wonderful nine months of visiting with Mr. Norris and getting to know him, his poetry, and his poetry group of 23 years. Some fine voices in that bunch and always a warm smile and attentive ears. (A bit of advice – try to keep company with those a generation or two wiser than yourself, inside and outside your own family. Oh the things we never knew!)

Mr. Norris and I met just about every week for most of that time. During the first several meetings we established the scope of his project, what we wanted it to look like, size, use of color, art for the cover. He decidedly did not want to publish or sell, but rather to give to friends and family. Oh, and he wanted a sound chip in some of the books so readers could hear the rhythm of his poem The Rap On Bob.

We discussed using different colored paper for each section of the book. At one point we thought we might have him paint the edge of the pages of the book a different color for each section. It was, to say the least, a very fun and challenging exercise in both creativity and production solutions.

At each meeting he would pass three to five poems he had either written in the last week or possibly years ago. This man is overflowing with poetry. Pretty early on we discussed the prospect of a second volume.

Taking into consideration the fact that he cannot see from his left eye, I shifted most of the formatting to the right side of the page, including only numbering odd pages which falls on the right page.

We (I say we, it was really my multi talented husband once again…) scanned his poems in hopes to keep the original 8.5”x11” formatting with Mr.Norris’s illustrations. After choosing a journal size of 7” x 9” for the book, typesetting became necessary. Also, an increased point size for text was necessary for easier reading on older eyes.

The mock up for this project was a three ring binder with plastic page protectors holding the poems. When it was time to create chapters for the book, I could easily sort the plastic pages into piles then reorder in the binder and it helped his 87 year old hands to have something thick to turn. He pretty much gave me free reign over the order poems and chapters which felt daunting at first, but also allowed me to connect more deeply with his words.

Three ring binder with plastic pages as mock up.

Finding a local printer that could print rich color on the cover plus one color page inside, and the rest black and white… on a rich cream paper… was not the easies task. I discovered some great printers in Austin though.

 360 Press Solutions in Cedar Park was the final choice and I worked with a great sales rep who was communicative, calming, and delivered on time. Mr. Norris had already done his research on the sound chips and sent a link to Invite By Voice who proved to be very responsive to my needs and offered price breaks on quantity.

Figuring out how to mount the sound chip into the book without tearing the pages resulted in having one sheet of card stock inserted after the poem that was recorded. this way the sound chip could be mounted to something sturdy. I cut down some old wedding stationary cards (now with outdated addresses printed on the flap) and used them to hide the sound chip.

Push the on Bob’s name and hear him read this poem. Genius!

We used a self portrait he had painted for the cover but positioned it so that as the reader opens the book, they are opening his mind.

If these beauties become available for sale, I’ll be sure to get the word out. Until then, below the video are a few of my favorites.

 

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New Moment

“You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear.” -Sammy Davis, Jr.

By on January 5, 2018

My mentor recently asked, “Are you committed?” in regards to my entrepreneurial enterprise. I had to think about that for awhile.

Am I committed? An inner voice scoffed – Of course you’re committed! The other laughed Right, and how would anyone know? A third suggested it was time to find a new path, like she’s been telling me every couple years since age 12, with vague details at best. Yet another voice indignantly screeched – Are you SERIOUSLY doing this AGAIN? What are we reading Sincero for? Why are there boxes full of other peoples family photos stacked in your studio? Why do the ideas keep coming? Why do people keep finding you? What evidence do you need?!

Right, but… can I really run a business? I’ve never doubted my creativity, but making a living with it is different. Have I been succeeding so far, or just flailing with charisma? Do I have what it takes to steer my own ship or am I better as second mate?

Another friend posted that if she could rid the world of one thing it would be fear. I don’t tend to think of myself as someone who is afraid of much, but as I spend the first week of this new year assessing the direction of my business, I can see that fear has had me sailing against the tide more than I realized.

The fear-shame cycle rages on mostly unnoticed. I’m afraid and then ashamed of that fear. Incessant internal arguments and naysaying dominate my thoughts and the constant ping, tap, thump, blat, smack, spit, scream of self doubt can be paralyzing.

Maybe if I start talking louder, I won’t hear those energy sucking voices. Or if the fears are called out, at least the shame of them will diminish and I can work around them. Since fear cannot be banished from one’s emotional landscape, it must dealt with it differently.

So, what’s to be afraid of? Pretty simple psychology stuff. Failure. Success. The unknown. Being mediocre. Criticism. Once a project is finished, then what?

As an exercise in exposing the liars in my head, I’m going to break them down a bit.

Fear of failure is easy to rationalize. If I fail at being an entrepreneur, it can only be good for my next gig as someone else’s amazing employee. The trick is to determine WHEN it’s failure. How will I know it’s time to end it or make major changes? If I set goals, SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound), not just fantasy visions, I can know when it’s time to let go or do something different.

Fear of success seems counter intuitive, but after a little reading I realize that I have a stunted vision of what I want my success to look like. With success comes change, and not small ones. I have to be willing to let go of life as it is now – the good, the bad, and the ugly, and make room for life as I want it – the great, the character building, and the manageable.

Fear of the unknown kind of comes in under fear of success. Clarify my vision of success and the unknown won’t be so unfamiliar.

Fear of being mediocre plagued me as a younger woman. So much so that I filled volumes of personal journals about it and not one essay, article, blog post, or book for public consumption about anything else. Damn! Age has made me far more ok with not being a revolutionary, famous, history making genius these days. Simply being myself in the world is my main objective. There is plenty of room at the top and all through the middle for my gifts.

Fear of criticism. Yikes. This makes my stomach tight just typing it out. I love approval SO MUCH!! It’s my favorite! But… without facing criticism, I can’t improve or grow or serve my clients effectively. So, tight gut and all, it’s time to get out there and take some heat. (Shudder)

Fear of finishing projects and not knowing what comes next….hmmm. I certainly can linger in a project longer than necessary, over thinking design choices, admiring what works, debating what doesn’t. Not at the expense of clients of course, but this often leads to undercharging which undermines my financial confidence. Oy.

Once a project is done, I tend to imagine the huge, empty voids of space. Unless I go find more. Which is HUGELY uncomfortable. So uncomfortable in fact, that up to now I’ve had no real marketing plan, tribe building habits, or knowledge of where to meet other designers. What am I an introvert? Urg. Kind of. An extroverted introvert, but an introvert nonetheless.

With a more specific plan going forward and a clear message of how I can serve people, my introverted self can be encouraged to face discomfort with more confidence. It’s only the thought of meeting new people that inflames anxiety, not the actual meeting of new people.

Staying open to the endless possibilities the Universe shows me over and over helps curb latent habits of scarcity thinking. There is more than enough need for what I offer. And I can find those who are looking for me. I’ve got those boxes of photos to prove it.

Direct my own ship I must. Choose my destination I will. Time to give up on giving up.

As if on queue, a Muzak arrangement of the Rocky theme song starts playing. My son and I have watched all of the Rocky movies this holiday break. Coincidence? I think not.

Thanks for the signal – Gonna fly now.

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